My very first attempt at versification. A bit of a doggerel, but here goes...
Tremulous
From the edge of my chair
From my corner of the bed
From under my massed up hair
From the recesses of my head
From the bottom of my heart
From the depths of my soul
Like a small bit part
Of a much larger whole
Trying with a stutter
To find my voice
With feelings a-flutter
I hope to find poise
Among the general melee
I'll try, lets see!
12 comments:
I must say, it ricochetted off :D Kidding
nice of u to drop by my blog...
happy new year!!!
Thanks Prithi n Ganga, This was my maiden attempt where I'm up against the giants of verse, so these tremulous tones.
Welcome B!
Great way to start a new year.
Keep it up.
Chitra
finding your bearings?? i try that every weekend..still haven't figured out where to start. That's when i get reminded of Tom Hanks in Forest Gump going "maybe we're supposed to be like that ..all floating around accidental like.."
Ahhh coffee in my hands, listenin to music and reading this post of yours...What a way to start my day!!
Hi Shankari
A wonderful first attempt...
Read your blog...lots of us are in the same stage of life.Searching for self and trying to find meaning of this mania called life.:):)
Thanks Chitra!
M, I'm too old n tired to indulge in it every weekend, so when it opens, the floodgate bursts!
Ah, Arvind, coffee and grease to soothe/ smooth you!?!
Hi m&c, yes, the mania does get a bit interrupted with the non-manic!
Connected to this completely!
Happy New Year
:)
And see we did.. keep it up... we want some more..
This is the opinion of the judge:
:))
"Dear Shankari,
Your sonnet 'Tremulous' reads extremely well, and it really is a tremulous poem, thus embodying its title.
Also, there is an excellent transition between octave and sestet, leading quickly to a quirky concluding couplet.
The first six lines are most effective with their repeated and stressed 'From' , and 'massed up hair' is a rather felicitious phrase I think.
As to the form itself; well of course, I have to say that this is a very irregular sonnet! The brief lines do not allow you to develop the material--though I concede that the poem is complete in its own terms. But this is not strictly a sonnet, though it does follow the contours of one. It is a vivid lyric nonetheless, and I hope to see your next effort at writing a sonnet."
just the first one and it's already a winner...
here's my 1st attempt at a tongue twister:
"Didn't the 1st at-tempt tempt u to at-tempt more???"
Good Morning and yes Happy Basant to you too... :)
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