Yet another milestone to mark the passage of Time. Yet another looking back and taking stock, trying in vain to make some sense of the absurdity of the exercise of marking Time.
No more deep long expirations at the end of this year. Just a short fervent wish for Hope and Fortitude, to keep things going with the flow.
No exuberance (irrational or other wise), just wishes.
December 30, 2006
December 14, 2006
December 03, 2006
Coping
Last time I had written this for the World Dis Abled Day from the perspective of mothers of children born with disabilities.
Happy Coping all ye enabled ones! Ping back!
But what of disabilities acquired later in childhood or those of previously 'normal' adults? Typically the first reaction is of disbelief- 'This can't be happening to me. This must a bad dream.' Then realisation brings in its wake the Why Me? set of questions.
Some try to find anwers to those Why me questions even while grappling with the new and multiple challenges that disability brings in its wake. Some get so embroiled in seeking answers to these questions (at some airy fairy level- psychological, metaphysical, karmic or even a more worldly level of apportioning blame on others) that they cannot actually DO anything to help themselves. They get stuck in self-defeating loops till they gradually lose touch with their realities and start to live in a sad world of their own.
Some others lose themselves in the new grind which suddenly makes all their prior routines so rich in comparison. They start 'coping'. The skills they use may range from workarounds to seeking out help. Another not-so-easy but nevertheless done much to death coping mechanism is the martyr act. Looking upon suffering as noble, a salvation, as it were.
And the stresses are many- economic (health care is expensive), social, attitudinal, physical. And they take their toll in so many ways. On the work relationships, on even relationships in the family, with parents, siblings, spouses, self image raising difficult to deal with issues of self worth, and finally, of course the higher questions of does Someone/Anyone (God?) love me.
Some try to find anwers to those Why me questions even while grappling with the new and multiple challenges that disability brings in its wake. Some get so embroiled in seeking answers to these questions (at some airy fairy level- psychological, metaphysical, karmic or even a more worldly level of apportioning blame on others) that they cannot actually DO anything to help themselves. They get stuck in self-defeating loops till they gradually lose touch with their realities and start to live in a sad world of their own.
Some others lose themselves in the new grind which suddenly makes all their prior routines so rich in comparison. They start 'coping'. The skills they use may range from workarounds to seeking out help. Another not-so-easy but nevertheless done much to death coping mechanism is the martyr act. Looking upon suffering as noble, a salvation, as it were.
And the stresses are many- economic (health care is expensive), social, attitudinal, physical. And they take their toll in so many ways. On the work relationships, on even relationships in the family, with parents, siblings, spouses, self image raising difficult to deal with issues of self worth, and finally, of course the higher questions of does Someone/Anyone (God?) love me.
These may be a few of the issues one keeps in the mind when coming across any links to 'organise, take part and celebrate' Disabled day not merely by those have easy e-accessability.
Happy Coping all ye enabled ones! Ping back!
P.S. Just as I posted this, my long time support group and virtual family went through a convulsive shake-up. (If I retain any semblence of sanity today it is due to the tremendous support, love and affection I have got from these my family members.) I guess all families go through these, but then they are very painful.
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