Addiction

Reading Ellen is such a habit with me now that I feel I should formalize my dependence by signing up for those CoDA classes she's promising every Tuesday. She has a way to getting to me (and at least half of the angst-ridden female population of bloggers!) and making me think. Think long and worry, of course. :))

This was her latest salvo, which along with the 40 odd (till date) posts it has generated makes one conclude(!) that being spouse to an addict is not fun. But somehow being non-spouse to such is also not so easy. Why ever? Thought of Draupadi who was set as wager and lost by her Pandava husbands to the Kauravas, a spirited female in Hindu mythology who chose to live on with her five self seeking husbands right up to the very end. No paragon of wifely devotion she, didn't even make it to the top five list of Hindu satis in the league of Ahalya, Sita, Savitri, Arundhati and Damayanti (that I can recollect)!

In my current verse-challenged state, I set out my thoughts in verse. I do hope it does not trivialise the issue.

Addiction

If he is addicted to other women, gambling or drink
She wouldn't want to live with him, one'd think,
Yet studying our prime mythical story
I?m no closer to unraveling this mystery

Draupadi, that acme of Indian polyandry,
She was no drudge; she was known to get angry
Brought up as a precious princess girl,
On occasion, her lips would curse and curl
She was not known to be as docile
As Sita was, in her forced exile

With each of her husbands having personal wives
Why didn?t Draupadi leave them to their loves and dice?
Why, if she could subvert chiraharan,
Did she choose the life of a common char-woman?

When all her husbands had crucially failed her
She turned to cosmic Krishna for succour
Why then, did she continue to be by them?
Engaging herself as their menial pro tem

If Draupadi had recourse to divorce
Would she have fared any worse?
Gambled away by her principal wooer
The second having to live as a neuter
The big middle one, by her, couldn't do much
And the twins, they were quite out of touch!

Dharmaraj Yuddhistra was unrighteous
Virile Arjun, reduced to shikhandii
Powerful Bhima was, for her, powerless
Nakul and Sahadev mere have-beens

With five husbands and on her own
A personal revenge she had sworn
And yet she adorned other princesses
While she didn?t tie her own tresses

A princess, a natural queen to-be,
Why did she acquiesce to ignominy?
Is there any algorithm to explain-
Why some de-train but others refrain

Not opting out, staying on, till their defenses are worn
Is it that some have a lower threshold,
while others have a lower still self esteem,
or martyrdom, a search for a higher being?
Is it love for a self-indulgent big child
Who makes the right public noises but privately cries
Is it response to a defence-less spousal position
Or simply passive masochistic destruction?

Or is it a final irony that the addict 's addiction
Creates and supports in the family, a mirror position?