Men, marriage and mardaangi in hapless Haryana

Uups! Just when everyone around me is excitedly discussing the addition of 'u's to Banglaore and other Karnataka towns (I HAD to choose a DH link for this over the rest), I start on my post on a totally different part of my universe.

I dedicate this post to all the bhayas (a typically crude but surprisingly non-rude Haryanvi term for brother!!!), with whom I've have had occasion to interact with (rather closely!) over the years...

The December 3-9 2005 issue of EPW , has an interesting article on the 'masculinity' of haryanvi males in the absence of enough females to enforce suitable masculinity. The article is refreshingly different in that instead of being a demographic discourse on the adverse sex ratio or a gender gripe, it just talked of things as they are.

How marriage is as important for men as for women in (esp. rural) Haryana and getting sons married is one of the vote planks used by Chautala in his election campaign. How in the absence of eligible marriageable girls, caste lines are being blurred and may be resulting in the kind of recent regressive caste violence Haryana has had. Or the fate that awaits the progeny of the alliances between the Haryanvis who have b(r)ought in females from other States and cultures. How the aged, the unmarried and the unemployed are the major problems of Haryanvi society incurring scorn from all. And how a man cannot be a Man without a job and a wife! Yin and yang? Bicyles and fish anyone???

But then again, at the risk of repetition, a good read bringing out the male perspective on what has been seen for long as a 'woman's problem'. Heres to you, bhayas.

And just in case you thought Prem Chowdhry was a man, think again.