That kind of a woman

100 years ago, the average woman had fewer than 50 periods during her life. Now, the modern woman could have spent almost 1/2 of her life with monthly periods.

Once upon a time, long long ago, maybe towards the end of the good times or maybe when the bad times had begun, Mother Earth was unable to bear it anymore. The burden of Evil was bothering Her. Her face was looking tired old and haggard. Her very soul was parched. All Her children were mindlessly plundering her, killing each other, bleeding her and yet unhappy. There was much discontent and dissatisfaction on Earth.

At that time, in the Heavens there was a beautiful young goddess- Ganga. She was sprightly, sporty and immensely powerful. The Gods who visited the Earth knew that some balance could be restored on Earth only if Ganga Herself was to descend to the Earth. She alone could help Mother Earth carry the burden of Her troubled children. She could provide the immense unconditional love that the mortal beings needed to act as a balm on their wounds, quench their latent thirst for goodness, offer Her body to be loved, adored, mistreated and scorned.

The destroyer of all evil, Shiva himself was requested to provide the right platform for Her descent to the Earth via Mount Kailasa. She came with Her friends, the playful Bhilangini, Yamuna and all, before She absorbed them all unto Herself. And to this day, She flows on ageless. Her children love her, play with Her, pray to Her, rever Her, mistreat Her, scorn Her and yet She flows on unmindful, with love. One of Her devotee children, a poet singer, asked Her why She flows on ('Bistirna Duparer') - but She flows on without offering any explanation for Her behaviour.

Once when this ageless young lady was strolling along Her banks in Her female human form, there came by a King- Shantanu, young, brave, strong and virile and all that young Kings are. He saw Ganga and was immediately smitten. He implored Her to agree to be his Royal Consort. After much pleading Ganga agreed but only on the condition that he should never ask Her for any explanation for Her actions. This seemed to small a price for the King to pay for the favour of her affection. They got married and lived as happily as they could, which was a lot!

But like all stories, this one too had a twist. Incredibly fertile and fecund Ganga was regularly blessed with babies- whom She bore through the long gestation with lots of love, tenderness and care. Yet each time She delivered a tiny perfectly formed baby, She would carry it off and set it adrift in Her stream of love- to float or more likely to drown. From Her womb to Her flow. The babies would leave no trace except loving ripples in the flow of the mother's bosom.

Each time he saw this happen, the king would be mystified but remembering his promise would keep quiet and ask Her no questions. But when the eighth such baby was born, he could restrain himself no longer and as gently as he could, he asked Her for an explanation. Gathering Her precious bundle, giving the bonny boy all her love in a hug, She handed the baby over to the father and left- never to come back to him. (What happened to young Devavrata and how he was venerated as the Grand Old man of Bharata varsha as Bhishma Pitamaha is another story- which doesn't concern me here)

I recall this story each time I across such nasty rants. Of course modern technology offers an incredible number of options on when and how to end a pregnancy- for each trimester for each stage the options available for medical and surgical terminations of pregnancies as well as for sustaining life as fragile and as light as 750 grams- making Roe vs Wade quite a different type of debate ! But with all these options who makes the choice? If mothers have to fight for their choice of whether to carry a baby or not, where are we? Abortion and motherhood- can these ever be things to be explained to or decided by pompous paternal men? Can there be any standard one-size-fits-all solution ever for such an issue?


Heres a prayer, a celebration of the kind of woman who loved without exception and lived without any explanation for Her body and Her choices for the body!
















PS :

The above post was discussed briefly but intensely with some of my friends who were either too upset or embarrassed to post their comments. Among them was an exemplary father too who felt I had skimmed over some pertinent issues. Among the ones raised were:

1. Not all woman are good and motherly and some are plain bloody evil and will abort a child with cold bloodedness 'especially' educated women. The talk of Ganga creates a picture of benevolence and maternal feeling but the portrayal of all of womanhood as a divine mother is not true. What about a woman, for example, who willfully has an abortion to spite her husband?

Yes I admit I did not specifically state that there are 'evil' women amongst the evil persons in the world. That they may use all the weapons at their disposal to score points against any or all the people who oppose them. In fact what I speak of is choice. A woman has the choice to bear her child or not - how good a mother she would make may actually be one of the many factors to help her make that choice.

2. Maternal feelings are not the exclusive preserve of women.

While parenting is a joint responsibility, a father may be a better parent than the biological mother who bears the baby. But parenting and maternity are distinct. These should and cannot be used interchangeably.

3. Why talk of the US? - Let us talk of India

I mentioned the US as it has a lot of very vocal and active debates on this issue. That can at best serve as a background to the choices here in India- even if they be very different. The dissimilarity is stark so the image used is a quintessential Indian image of Ganga. The irony of a Ganga who is venerated as the fertile Mother of Bharata varsha being the one who chose to not bring up seven of Her children and even abandoned the surviving eighth! Is the myth totally wasted on us?

The talk of choice is particularly pertinent to India- where abortion or the 'Medical Termination of Pregnancy' is one of the officially recognised forms of birth control. Where unwanted pregnancies, mishaps, rapes, abound. Where the societal mores and codes of honour do not accept unwed mothers in spite of legends such as Kunti. Where the reproductive life of a woman is so long. Where the sex of the fetus determines whether it survives or not. Where maternal and neonatal health facilities are woefully inadequate. Where the burden of repeated child bearing or that of repeated abortions takes its toll on the health of the woman AND her family. The choice of bearing a child or not, to vest in the woman, is all the more relevant, in India.

PPS: How could I leave this out? Bah! but I get wordy :(