Diverse

Its been a long week!

So many things happening- kids' exams, work rearing its nasty head every so often, Shakespeare and Company first anniversary celebrations at Bangalore (some pictures here), the notable common thread being that I've been dining out all week. And that I'll have to work out extra hard to rid myself of all those surplus calories. Just when I thought I could get some appreciation for all my efforts in the gym, I've been told by my trainer to go up to 200 crunches a day! :((

But enough of my gripe. Whats with all this talk of divorce surrounding me everywhere I look- first it was at Teri's. Then at Priya. The other morning, when I had started the coffee going but did not get around to pouring it out as I lay down back exhausted, dh did the dutiful thing (as in once in blue moon) and got me my coffee in bed with the papers and a big smile!!! Apart from the other sensational headlines this week regarding offices of profit, that particular day, the papers screamed Divorce.

The Supreme Court has been making observations on the Hindu Marriage Act and suggesting more legal grounds for divorce. Law is an ass maybe, but looking for a legal way to annul a marriage and can't show evidence of the legally acceptable grounds, people are hard placed to seek their freedom from the marital yoke. The hindi saying 'miya biwi raazi to kya karega kaazi' is usually used to denote a willingness of two 'parties' to come together in marriage- but ain't it equally applicable to the un-yoking, the freeing? What could be the relevance of law or society in keeping an otherwise dead marriage alive? But no, marriage is much more than two people agreeing to live together. It is this social, religious, legal contract which once made cannot be broken. It endures even long after the parties cease to exist. There is a maxim of sorts in my native telugu which says that marriage is a harvest for 100 years!~

The ugliness of having living together long after the magic if any, passed and the painful process of breaking free by painting the other as an ogre... Maybe all this was what led to my penning this set of Instructions between parting couples. It has been inspired in a perversely diametrically opposite way from that epic celebration of conjugal(?) love, Donne's A Valediction forbidding Mourning and also somehow by that Jagjit Singh song where the poet forbids his former lover from speaking of him or their relationship - Baat niklegi to door talak jayegi).

Instructions (Forbidding Mourning)

As estranged couples go legally apart
And all their possessions do formally divide
Their excited-sad friends often play a large part
'All this his. And these- she brought as a bride.'

Not so let us part. But, without a scene

No recriminations, no floods of tears
No remorse over what may have been
No traces of the vicious jeers.

Holy matrimony does often bring
In its wake, many unholy spirits
We grappled with some, sparring
While others were at our necks, devouring

Loony, honeymoon-ey delights gave way
To the harsher realities of every day
Our spark did flicker, flutter and got tired, faded
Passions were replaced by emotions more jaded

How could we, so fine, have turned so gross
To have discovered this ugly side of our selves?
Bickered over things that mattered not- were ridiculously crass
Dragged to expensive heights, spats spiraled by our legal helps

But now, as we retrace our steps, Up ahead
Let us take a fresh new vow
Undo the knots, yet not cut our thread
We?ll meet in future, but without a row

No screeching, screaming, grimacing, ignoring
The points we make, the form shall be pleasing
No threats, no shouts, no regrets, no demands
We'll be good parents and, er, uncles and aunts

With time your beauty may yet again bloom
Give it a chance, learn a dance, try a new tune
Go out, drive, fly, flirt, don't live in a tomb
And thankfully money has been a boon

Both of you, in summer break, I'll take
To exciting lands and pleasant climes

So I implore you, my has- been
Let us part without a scene