But what of disabilities acquired later in childhood or those of previously 'normal' adults? Typically the first reaction is of disbelief- 'This can't be happening to me. This must a bad dream.' Then realisation brings in its wake the Why Me? set of questions.
Some try to find anwers to those Why me questions even while grappling with the new and multiple challenges that disability brings in its wake. Some get so embroiled in seeking answers to these questions (at some airy fairy level- psychological, metaphysical, karmic or even a more worldly level of apportioning blame on others) that they cannot actually DO anything to help themselves. They get stuck in self-defeating loops till they gradually lose touch with their realities and start to live in a sad world of their own.
Some others lose themselves in the new grind which suddenly makes all their prior routines so rich in comparison. They start 'coping'. The skills they use may range from workarounds to seeking out help. Another not-so-easy but nevertheless done much to death coping mechanism is the martyr act. Looking upon suffering as noble, a salvation, as it were.
And the stresses are many- economic (health care is expensive), social, attitudinal, physical. And they take their toll in so many ways. On the work relationships, on even relationships in the family, with parents, siblings, spouses, self image raising difficult to deal with issues of self worth, and finally, of course the higher questions of does Someone/Anyone (God?) love me.
Some try to find anwers to those Why me questions even while grappling with the new and multiple challenges that disability brings in its wake. Some get so embroiled in seeking answers to these questions (at some airy fairy level- psychological, metaphysical, karmic or even a more worldly level of apportioning blame on others) that they cannot actually DO anything to help themselves. They get stuck in self-defeating loops till they gradually lose touch with their realities and start to live in a sad world of their own.
Some others lose themselves in the new grind which suddenly makes all their prior routines so rich in comparison. They start 'coping'. The skills they use may range from workarounds to seeking out help. Another not-so-easy but nevertheless done much to death coping mechanism is the martyr act. Looking upon suffering as noble, a salvation, as it were.
And the stresses are many- economic (health care is expensive), social, attitudinal, physical. And they take their toll in so many ways. On the work relationships, on even relationships in the family, with parents, siblings, spouses, self image raising difficult to deal with issues of self worth, and finally, of course the higher questions of does Someone/Anyone (God?) love me.
These may be a few of the issues one keeps in the mind when coming across any links to 'organise, take part and celebrate' Disabled day not merely by those have easy e-accessability.
Happy Coping all ye enabled ones! Ping back!
P.S. Just as I posted this, my long time support group and virtual family went through a convulsive shake-up. (If I retain any semblence of sanity today it is due to the tremendous support, love and affection I have got from these my family members.) I guess all families go through these, but then they are very painful.
11 comments:
Very empathetic post.
But shankari, most of the abled people also suffer with the "Why me" . I wish we all learn to cope with what we have got and thank God for that. Perobably we all shpuld learn a few lessons from Stephen Hawkins.
Hi Shankari
Good to see you writing again.
It's a sensitive post. Ultimately it boils down to our sensitivity...our sensitivity towards the special needs of "different" people. If the majority is somehow able to assimilate the special needs of this minority while developing any social, economic or financial models I think most of their problems will disappear (including the psychological ones).
Thanks for the links.
Chitra, Anj, thanks for pinging back! :)
i wonder if we must call it a 'disability', in the first place. after all, its like a question of what normalcy is.
people think the blind person so because the majority of people can see. for the blind person though, it is a whole new world. it might as well be that in his 'eyes', the seeing people might seem abnormal, or just 'different'...
as to the 'why me...' question, and the link - i think it is a childish outlook - to think of god as en 'entity' that is all powerful, monitoring our actions and judging us baed on that. if god were to judge, punish and reward people (according to whatever set of rules He has made), in my eyes, he would cease to be god - that would be a very human thing to do, no?
Hi DharmaB,
Ya what you say about 'normalcy' and 'special-ness' makes lots of sense - common sense, but then thats how the world is- lacking in such stuff.
Talking of me, I was asked not to get 'attached' to my child! and I have even had mothers turn around and ask me why I intervened and 'saved' their child for them!
As for the link, I didn't think too much of it too, just gave the link to make a point. I think 'why me' coz I CAN deal with it!
get well soooooooooooooooooon :-D
ende,
Welled already ;)
Shankari,
Came back here to read, good work. The blog somehow looks much better. Sorry to hear about afflication, but that too shall pass. Keep the faith.
Do visit http://johnpmathew.blogspot.com when you have the time.
best wishes
J
cute! :)
Hey
I read this yesterday...thought to share it with you...
http://www.ncert.nic.in/textbooks/XII/impression_supplementary_XII/CHAP7.PDF
shankari dear,
just an after thought:
dont we all feel disabled when our near ones/friends go away from us
:(
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