November 01, 2006

Cheers again!

It was still the early chapters of The Pelican Brief. Strange how some irrelevant associations endure and they usually point to books I was reading when something significant was happening in my life. But that Thursday night, I was reading it and reading it rather desultorily.

Without any prejudice to the writer or the plot, let me explain why it was so. There was a growing unease within me which was extremely discomfiting, unlike anything I had ever felt before, induced both by my own body and exaggerated by the slooow Syntocinon drip on my right arm, which produced syncope-like feelings. In addition were the gut-wrenching moans and wails from the invisible woman in the next cubicle, a primi who had to undergo the labours of ejecting a piece of tissue which had grown in her for eight months before quitting spontaneously. Far more disturbing than all these was the
low but clear tones of a discussion that two people were clinically having in that unreal endless night- the burden of the conversation and an extremely heavy burden it was, was how the two women wished they did not ever have daughters as girls would have to undergo all the travails of child bearing which they were exposed to as Ob-Gyns day and night.

What disturbed me was not the fact that these were not merely trained educated doctors speaking but that they were real women and yet did not feel the joys of being a woman. All through my pregnancy I had fervently hoped for a daughter and I could not believe my ears that here were women (women who participate in the birthing process, no less) who wished that their own progeny did not participate in the most visible celebration of life!


***

A dear friend of mine, one of my 'anchors', is from the cultural (and very political) holy city from the banks of the Ganga whose guavas are as sweet as the language and fine sensibilities of its people.


Now constrained by physical distance, we talk over the phone about this and that and all the rest that goes into our lives- about birds in the bird bath, crows having a parliament and such important matters. During the course of one such invigorating session, she asked me to listen to both the versions of this song- this and that. She knows just how much I appreciate these songs so I presumed that the newer version of Umrao Jaan would, if any, be better - with songs to match.

Alas, more fool me - the lyrics of Shahryar and the music of Khayyam with even a ge
m of Khusro, how could they be matched by a 'politically correct' poet who receives such public proclaim and is even proclaimed by his enlightened wife of having re-written history.


***

When I was pregnant with my second child, I had to, for some obscure reasons, undergo five ultrasound scans- four of them with a self-proclaimed expert radiologist who never picked up the congenital defect my baby was born with but invariably harped on whether I wanted to know whether I'd have a cricketer or a cheerleader. No, I did not take him to court, which he deserved to be especially given his acclaimed academic background, though some may pig-headedly disagree.



At the end, if I were to do things again, I'd say agle janam mohe bitiya hi kijo. Now to talk to my friend...

12 comments:

Junius said...

hmmm...
btw give my hugZ to anu :-)

LAK said...

While wishing to not have a daughter is a really extreme way of looking at things, and it means foregoing a lot of joys, I can still dimly understand why those women were saying that---it may be an exaggerated sense of protecting one's child---"I don't want my child to go thru this" kind of logic.In a discussion once, a friend said something like "I'd like to have a daughter, and bring her up with all joys, but keep her in a glass case, as it were"----I remember I argued vehemently against it at the time. Yet, like I always say, the minute you have a child, you become vulnerable, and you try to reduce that vulnerability by protecting the child as much as poss.---it is of course not healthy for the kid----!

LAK said...

As for the cricketer/cheerleader ultrasonologist, I wish you had gone back and wiped the floor with him when your baby's problem was discovered! And beaned him one with his machine!

Shankari said...

Ende, sure will do :)

lak,

You bet I went back and gave a piece of my mind to that smart doc! :P

Its another thing that I did not drag him to court (maybe cuz things took time but sorted themselves themselves out for my baby and having done battle with so many docs p'raps I'd lost the edge of my mom from hell mode!). As for the protection bit, baby girl OR boy, given that we have been nurtured to think for ourselves, choose for ourselves, how could we make such choices for our children, huhn?

Kinda long rant, aint it?

DTclarinet said...

Have you seen the movie, "Water" by Deepa Metha? I've also seen "Fire" but I loved the first even more. Beautiful stories about women and their voices in India.

Shankari said...

Hi David

Nice to see you here! Hope alls well in your pond.

No I haven't seen Water yet. Shall now that you recommend it.

But then these are rather stray isolated voices of stray isolated women, or are they?

chitra said...

it is great that we have a Tyson (beybladder) in the making. I love your son .

LAK said...

Isn't it ironic that Water was shot abroad, released abroad, and we in India are still waiting for it? (Or has it been released without yours truly movie buff being aware of it?)

Shankari said...

Chitra,

Thanks but now its not Tyson anymore, not even Beckham, it is Sachin who he wants to be when he grows BIG (a bit mistimed, hmm?)

lak, sorry am equally clueless...

chitra said...

Your son definitely has the knack of spotting the genius. though he has nt performed in the recent times, his strokes are worth watching. Give my hug to the kid.

Pallavi said...

yeah i love being a woman... :) Would love a girl child of my own...

Shankari said...

Chitra,

His day starts and ends with the hugs he gets from his Amma :)


Pallavi,

Wishing you a sweetheart in your own image!